“One asks how is the body a part of this healing, and yet that has for many years been the missing piece. The fear response in the brain is fully developed at birth. Yet until children are nearly six years of age they cannot accurately assess danger. They cannot determine what is or is not a threat and to what degree is something a threat. Until they are in mid to late teens the part of the brain that allows them to reason is not fully developed. That is why children need parents to guide, protect, and nurture them, particularly at times of stress. Children raised in troubled families need protection and safety like all children, but they are raised by people who are absent, neglectful, or the cause of stress and pain itself. At times of trauma where does a child run toward? Home. But where do you run when the trauma is within the home? The natural responses to trauma are flight, fight, or freeze. For most kids they need to freeze. They are not able to run, or fight, so in essence they run within. This Twelve Step program honors the trauma responses of its many members. This program goes within to bring true peace for those who want it.” BRB pg xxiii
Home is suppose to be a word that represents comfort and refuge. It is a place where you can let your hair down, be accepted for who you are, not a perfect place, but one where love, forgiveness, and understanding describes your family, your home life. Hopefully, Dan and I have done that for our kids by God’s grace.
Some adults when they get sick or are facing difficulties, they want their mother or to go home and that has never been the case for me. I don’t say that looking for sympathy, I’m just stating the fact of the matter. When I have heard adults say that I think to myself, “really?!” due to my lack of understanding. It is painful to admit but as stated above, the very ones who are suppose to guide, protect, and nurture my siblings and me were operating out of their own deficit. You can’t give what you don’t have.
As a 10 year old, I ran within and the path of self destruction was opened to me. But God had other plans and rescued me from myself at the ripe old age of 19 and nearly 30 years later he continues to Rescue me from the unconverted parts of me, ever so gently. He is the Loving Parent who is brings healing to my soul, gave me a new heart, and provides me with everything I need. I had been frozen but not forgotten, afraid but not abandoned, left to myself but never alone. May I continue to be filled with gratitude for my Heavenly Father, Saving Brother, and Nearest Comforter.